25 weeks

Written Friday, May 17, 2013

How Big are the Babies?

My sources say the babies are as big as rutabagas or cauliflower this week, measuring about 13 1/2 inches, head to heel, and weighing 1 1/2 pounds.

How I’m Changing

Growing rapidly (though not putting on any additional weight) and tiring easily (though not forcing me into bed early).

My body, although designed and built to bear children, is not used to this additional weight and extra strain on muscles and joints.

It hurts, or rather, is uncomfortable, to sit down, stand up, roll over, bend over and turn from side to side. My belly aches sometimes. My back and tailbone – and even my sciatic nerve on occasion – hurt all the time. My hands and feet swell in the warmer, more humid weather lately, too.

It’s tough to walk hike, too. (We got out on the trails a lot this past week!) My lungs strain to keep up with my legs, and I’m huffing and puffing in no time.

How I’m Feeling/What I’m Thinking

As a result of my body changing so quickly and my wardrobe being unable to keep up, I am so self conscious.

For the first time this entire pregnancy, I really miss my old self – my old life, my old habits, my old body. I miss running. I miss going out for $1.99 margaritas on sunny afternoons. I miss wearing shorts and tank tops that flattered my smaller frame.

Instead, I feel not ugly – Never in a million years! I wear this belly like a badge! – but just…blah. I can’t even describe it.

Pregnancy really is amazing; I have to pinch myself sometimes, just to remind myself that it’s real. But pregnancy is physically, mentally and emotionally demanding, too.

I hope this self-conscious phase just an in-between phase. Thank God for Christopher. My darling husband always knows the right thing to say to make me laugh or smile and just feel a little better.

• Weight gained (to date): 24lbs.

• Workouts: Four – 3-mile hike, 2.5-mile walk/hike, 15 min. strength training and 1.5-mile walk.

• Food aversions: None.

• Food cravings: Turkey sandwiches.

• Cravings satisfied: One – for Greek food. I had a gyro from Sowbelly’s on Saturday.

• Maternity items purchased: One – a nightgown from Goodwill.

• Baby items purchased: One – a cute onesie from Goodwill.

• Mother’s Day gifts received: Tickets to “Wicked” in Madison in June!

• House projects worked on: Several. We started to clean the basement carpet. My dad fixed our leaky kitchen faucet. He also looked at our broken washer, but couldn’t fix it; we’re likely going to buy a new washer and dryer when we move. We also planned for staining the changing table, dresser and gliders. I also packed a few random things.

• Next prenatal appointment: Monday, June 3, 27 1/2 weeks.

24 weeks

Written Friday, May 10, 2013

How Big are the Babies?

My sources say the babies are as big as cantaloupes or as long as ears of corn this week, measuring about 12 inches, head to heel, and weighing more than a pound.

How I’m Changing

I’m growing, growing, growing!

I pretty much have nothing to wear… The long-sleeve tops I wore a couple months ago are tight in the arms, chest and belly and just a wee bit too short. They’ll probably make do for another week or two, if necessary. The pants I have – all maternity style – still fit, though, except my partial-panel black dress pants. They fit, but barely; the waistband folds down and gets all rumpled up.

I can’t wait to see my cousin next weekend and snag some of her spring and summer maternity clothes. It’ll be like shopping without spending any money!

I’m also tiring out and forgetting things more easily – at least from a work perspective.

I worked some pretty packed, long days this week (and took care of tons of doctor and house-related things), and they kicked my butt. I also had one correction and two clarifications this week, and they just reminded me that my brain isn’t 100 percent where it was before the two munchkins in my belly captured it.

I can’t wait until things settle down, although, I don’t think that will be for a while, as doctor appointments will only become more frequent and house-related errands, paperwork and a move will come sooner rather than later.

How I’m Feeling/What I’m Thinking

First, a quick update:

On the doctor front: We saw our new obstetrician Monday, and we are so glad we switched doctors. His bedside manner is so different; he talked to us (rather than to my chart), asked questions and had taken time to read my chart and test results beforehand.

He said our ultrasounds thus far show “excellent” growth – he used the word “perfect” a couple times — and he had us cancel our follow-up ultrasound in Rockford on May 16, in favor of coming back to him for another ultrasound and my glucose test June 3.

He also talked to us about labor, delivery and pain-management options, and, unlike our previous doc, said our desired birth is definitely possible, just not a guarantee.

On the house front: We resubmitted our (lower) offer on the house last Friday and got bank approval Monday. We since have submitted our loan application and tons of other paperwork, gotten a closing cost estimate and lined up homeowners’ insurance. We’re just waiting on a closing and move-in date.

Now, a couple stories:

My first ‘Are you pregnant?’ moment:  I interviewed the principal of the local high school for a story Wednesday afternoon. He’s a young guy, married with a few kids, based on the ring on his finger and the pictures in his office. We chatted for about a half-hour, then, as we were leaving his office, standing in front of a couple secretaries, it happened: He asked me, sort of point blank and without much hesitation, if congratulations were in order. I said they were, that we were expecting in August. He asked if it was our first, and I said they were our first two. He replied that he too has twin girls.

I guess I was just so impressed that my first ‘Are you pregnant?’ came from a man. He must have been pretty confident he was right, because if he had been wrong, then he would have been mighty embarrassed. I think I was more shocked and embarrassed, given how red and flushed my face felt at that moment.

I interviewed two retiring junior-high teachers the next morning. They both noticed right away, offering me an office chair rather than a student desk.

Can’t hide it anymore, eh? It’s probably time to send an e-mail to my primary sources, letting them know that come the late summer, I won’t be around…

My first hormone-induced meltdown: As I pulled into the driveway after a long, busy day at work Thursday, I noticed the cables that usually are screwed up against the siding of the house now were detached and laying in the bushes and down the sidewalk. I let Dexter out and fed him, then heated up some soup for myself, sat down on the couch and opened up my laptop. I couldn’t get online – not through our connection, not through the neighbor’s, not through anywhere. I thought it must be because those cables were down, so I ventured outside to take a look at them. After a quick glance, I headed back up our sidewalk and up the front steps. I tripped over the downed cable, spilled my soup (which I had carried outside with me), banged up my toe, scraped my knees and bumped my belly. I hurt. I had no more soup. I was worried about the babies. So, I cried.

A few minutes later, I called Christopher. He assured me everything was fine, that maybe I should just relax and not worry about the stuff I wanted to/needed to get done. But I wanted him to come home. I wanted him to hold me and be with me. I don’t even know why. So, I cried harder.

It was my first real, unexplainable emotional hang-up so far this pregnancy. I normally wouldn’t react that way, so I blame my hormones.

Honestly, it felt good to cry – even for just 60 seconds. But it felt so silly to react so melodramatically to something so…small.

• Weight gained (to date): 24lbs.

• Workouts: Four – 3.5-mile outdoor walk, 1.66-mile outdoor walk + strength training; 1.25-mile outdoor walk and a 1.5-mile outdoor walk.

• Food aversions: None, although my co-worker had a sandwich this afternoon that smelled of onions, and it made my turn up my nose.

• Food cravings: Nothing specific, although Mexican and Greek food has sounded good lately.

• Cravings satisfied: One – for root beer floats. I’ve had three or four in the last week.

• Maternity items purchased: None.

• Baby items purchased: None – unless you count the fabric we picked out to make new cushions for the gliders, one of which will go in the nursery; or the changing table (that used to be mine) my mom brought down.

• Childbirth classes taken: One.

• Milwaukee Brewers losses watched: Four in a row to the St. Louis Cardinals.

• Next prenatal appointment: Monday, June 3, 27 1/2 weeks.

23 weeks

Written Friday, May 3, 2013

How Big are the Babies?

My sources say the babies are as big as grapefruits or mangoes this week, measuring more than 11  inches, head to heel, and weighing more than a pound.

(The mangoes, and the grapefruits, had we bought those, seem much too small compared to the squash of last week… Discuss.)

How I’m Changing

More of the same, really:

I can feel the babies move pretty frequently now. I actually felt A LOT late Thursday night – enough that if Christopher had been home, he might have been able to feel it from the outside.

I’m hungry and thirsty all the time, but I fill up so easily and quickly can become uncomfortable. I’m also doomed to have heartburn and gas (Just being honest…) no matter when, how much or what I eat or drink. I’m craving a lot of light, fresh, summery foods now, though, so maybe the injection of more fresh fruits and veggies will help with those less than attractive symptoms.

I’m sleeping decently, although I had a rough go of it early this week because of the heat and humidity, and again last night because, with the windows open, the temperature drop caused me to tighten up.

How I’m Feeling/What I’m Thinking

The big thing for me this week was an overwhelming feeling of self-consciousness. I feel like everyone is staring at me.

It’s especially bad at work – not amongst my immediate coworkers (Shout out to Davey for reading the blog!) – but amongst those in other departments. The receptionist and those who fill in for her, the circulation guys who walk around the office all the time, the women from accounting…I walk past, and I feel their eyes on me.

Being pregnant is hard enough. You don’t really feel like yourself. You can’t do the same things, eat the same things or walk the same way. Your clothes don’t fit. You’re too hot, too cold. Your back hurts, your chest hurts. You’re forgetful.

Having everyone you come into contact with stare at you only makes it worse.

In the beginning, everyone would ask how I was feeling – which was sweet but quickly got old. Then, more recently, everyone would remark how I was not big enough to be carrying twins – and halfway through my pregnancy. Now, everyone has taken to staring.

I’m confident that in those three (likely soon to be more) phases of “pregnancy reaction,” people meant well, but how can they not understand or know that the third reaction (the staring) only serves to make me (the pregnant, suddenly different version of her old self) more self-conscious?

What? Do I have something on my clothes? Are my boobs showing too much in this top? Do I look tired? Do I look pained? Did you notice that I farted? Did I burp too loudly?

Like I said, I’m sure people mean well, but I’ll be glad when this phase passes. Although, the next reaction – the compulsion to touch my belly and subsequently give me and my husband unsolicited parenting advice – might send me over the edge…

• Weight gained (to date): 21 lbs.

• Workouts: Three – 3.5-mile outdoor walk (with a pit stop for ice cream), 1.5-mile outdoor walk and a 2-mile outdoor walk.

• Food aversions: Pasta. It’s not so much that I’m averse to it, but more so that I’m burned out on it.

• Food cravings: Fresh, summery foods! And root beer floats.

• Maternity items purchased: None. Today, my mom brought me a light dress for the warmer temps, though. And in a couple weeks, my cousin will be giving me some of her spring/summer maternity clothes.

• Baby items purchased: One gently used Bumbo seat with tray, several onesies and a couple of lighter-weight sleepers.

• Varieties of tea ordered from Teavana for making iced tea this summer: Three.

• Rummage sales visited over the weekend: Four.

• Money spent on baby things at the rummage sales: $18. (See above.)

• Days of 80-degree weather (barely) survived: Three.

• Next prenatal appointment: Monday, 23 1/2 weeks.

22 weeks

Written Friday, April 26, 2013 (and it’s another long one…)

How Big are the Babies?

My sources say the babies are as big as papayas and long as spaghetti squash this week, measuring almost 11  inches, head to heel, and weighing almost a pound. (The squash in the pictures are not nearly proportional; they were about 1.5 pounds and about 7-8 inches long.)

How I’m Changing

I’m definitely feeling baby movement now. It’s really hard to explain, but it feels like little waves or bubbles in my abdomen – waves or bubbles that moves and pop!

I’m also definitely feeling pregnant – even though everyone says I either don’t look pregnant at all or look too small to be 22 weeks (and I am SO sick of hearing about how small I am…). I just can’t do the same things I could before without the belly getting in the way – tie my shoes, carry a laundry basket, eat a big meal. I’m even growing out of the few pieces of transitional maternity wear in my closet.

How I’m Feeling/What I’m Thinking

My my, what a difference a week makes!

Those two big things that were weighing on my mind last week? Gone!

First, our second ultrasound and anatomy scan (moved from Tuesday to Thursday) went SO well.

The scan, once again, showed no signs of abnormal anatomical development; in fact, the doctor at the Rockford hospital said they look “absolutely normal.” The scan did confirm, however, that the girls are small – only in the 11th and 13th percentile for growth. But the doctor said that is nothing to worry about because the difference between small and big at this stage is less than an ounce.  She even said in a month, they should be closer to the 30th percentile.

Second, our obstetrician is out of the picture and has been replaced with someone we are very eager to bring into the fold.

Christopher asked a doctor (orthopedic surgeon) friend of ours for some advice, and he recommended any of the practitioners at the hospital in Sterling. We both had a connection to one of the OBs there anyway: I did a story on him delivering his 6,000th baby over a year ago, and Christopher has done stories on his family.

Christopher called him at home, and the doc said he remembered me and was looking forward to working with us; in fact, the doc questioned the strong desire our OB had for us going to Rockford for the level 2 ultrasound just because we were having twins.

I then called our current OB’s office to cancel our upcoming appointment, and I didn’t even have to explain our reasons for switching except to say that we were moving soon and no longer wanted to drive to Freeport. I have my records being sent over, and I set an appointment with the new doc for the same day as my appointment would have been with the former OB.

Woo hoo! I can’t tell you how relieving that move was – and we haven’t even seen the new guy yet!

Let’s see, what else?

We registered for gifts Saturday and experienced the overwhelming feeling that is making our way through Babies R Us with a scanner gun, but also the relief that is having some of the basics in hand and knowing much of the rest will come via gifts in a couple months.

We signed up for a very basic prenatal/childbirth class. It’s free, and it’s next Saturday at the hospital in Sterling.

We also had some developments on the house front, but they are tough to encapsulate in a couple paragraphs. Suffice it to say we were encouraged to hear something and are working hard to make sure we get this house and get it in time to settle in before the girls’ birth.

I just have a very good feeling about things these days: First, we seamlessly switched OBs. Second, we heard about the house and took steps to move the process along. And third, we got the best news of all: We have healthy, completely normal daughters on the way. I have to believe that good juju will continue…

• Weight gained (to date): 20 lbs.

• Workouts: Four – 30-min. prenatal workout video, 1+ hour raking/mowing lawn, a 1.5-mile outdoor walk and a 2.75-mile outdoor walk.

• Food aversions: None.

• Food cravings: Watermelon. I satisfied it for the first time Sunday, and I bought some more again today. Also, garlic bread. I really, really want a slab of Mama Mia’s garlic bread. (Milwaukee peeps might know what I’m talking about…) Oh, and a Krispy Kreme doughnut – just a plain glazed one.

• Maternity items purchased: None, although I will need some more spring/summer clothes and other necessities very soon.

• Days without daddy at home: Two.

• Coworkers said goodbye to: One. Good luck, Kiran! We’ll miss you!

• Nights stayed up late listening to the Brewers: Three.

• Next prenatal appointment: Monday, May 6, 23 1/2 weeks.

21 weeks

Written Friday, April 19, 2013 (and it’s a long one…)

How Big are the Babies?

My sources say the babies are as big as pomegranates and long as carrots this week, measuring about 10 1/2  inches, head to heel, and weighing about 12 ounces, or 3/4 pound.

How I’m Changing

All the books were right: My center of gravity and balance have started to suffer as my belly has grown and my weight has gone up. Christopher and I were carrying empty luggage from our bedroom upstairs down to the office on the main floor for storage; I got about five stairs from the floor, slipped and bobbed on my bum all the way down. Fortunately, I fell and slid on my bum, rather than forward onto my belly. Unfortunately, I really hurt my tailbone (again!) and had to forfeit workouts, even walks, and take extra care while sitting the rest of the week.

I felt what likely is distinct baby movement Wednesday. I was sitting at my desk, working on a story, when I felt this wave in my lower abdomen. It lasted just a few seconds, but it was unlike any other feeling thus far.

I also experienced a lot of belly discomfort Thursday (my birthday). I felt like my belly was larger and more in charge that day than ever before. It made it hard to get in and out of the car, up and down from a seat and got in the way while cooking. I mustered a pilates workout, and I found it much, much harder than previous sessions.

How I’m Feeling/What I’m Thinking

Two big things were weighing on my mind this week:

First, our second ultrasound and anatomy scan Tuesday.

Because we started with a midwife and then had to switch to an obstetrician (because we are having twins, which automatically makes the pregnancy high risk and requires the care of an OB, rather than a CNM), there was a miscommunication: Our midwife scheduled our 20-week ultrasound about two months ago, before we saw the OB. But our OB, for every twin pregnancy, schedules 20-week ultrasounds in Rockford, where they have the capabilities for Level 2 ultrasounds. So, we sort of had the ultrasound in Freeport on April 8 for nothing; we now have to go have another, more detailed scan in Rockford on Tuesday. And we probably will have to continue to go to Rockford for detailed ultrasounds more often, to monitor growth and development.

Also, while the quad screen came back negative and while the ultrasound showed no signs of abnormal development, the girls are on the small side – only in the 12th and 13th percentile for growth, which isn’t really concerning, per se, but is reason enough to watch it more closely. Our OB said she normally starts to worry if they are in the 10th or lower percentile, but 12th and 13th is cutting it close. I asked if that’s more common with twins, because there are two babies sharing one womb, but she didn’t really answer my question.

And second, our obstetrician.

Like I said, we started with a midwife. I selected her about a year before we started trying to get pregnant, because I wanted the level of care and personal attention that often comes with midwifery. I had a good experience last year, and when we found out we were pregnant this year, I was excited she was going to be at our sides for the journey. She was warm and welcoming, sweet and attentive, and calm and thorough. She recognized us every time we came to the office, she seemed to be up-to-date on my chart, and she took time to answer our questions.

But, again like I said, we had to switch to an OB. Our midwife recommended her, and we finally saw her in March, when she returned from her own maternity leave. I trust her – she obviously has the training and experience necessary and is a smart woman – but I don’t really care for her bedside manner. She seems out of touch, her head usually buried in my chart, rather than facing Christopher and me. She seems a little scattered and impatient, often barely answering our questions or glossing over myriad items in just a few moments. (For example, the first time we saw her, at about 17 weeks, she brought up delivery options – a little ahead of schedule, no? – and seemed to push me toward a C-section, without asking me much about my preferences or reasons for having those preferences.) And she seems generally disinterested in us and our pregnancy; the first time we saw her smile was when she noticed we were having girls, but then she followed up with a comment about how we needed to get the checkbook ready because little girls clothes are so cute.

I feel a little like going all the way up to Freeport has been for nothing; we likely would have had a similar experience (maybe better with a different OB) in Dixon or even in Sterling. But I can’t change the course of time. We didn’t know we’d have twins and have to switch from our hand-picked midwife to an assigned OB. We didn’t know we’d have twins and likely spend a lot of time at special appointments in Rockford, where the hospital is equipped with better equipment and technology.

The next big question is whether we want to take any kind of childbirth classes. Our OB said they are optional. We aren’t following any specific birth technique (e.g. Lamaze, Bradley Method, etc.), so we don’t necessarily have to take classes. But we might want to for the peace of mind and to help us feel prepared.

• Weight gained (to date): 18 lbs.

• Workouts: Just two – a 2.75-mile outdoor walk and 45. min prenatal pilates.

• Food aversions: None.

• Food cravings: Watermelon, fruity slushies, ice cream and cheese curds.

• Baby items received from friends: Several! Amy gave us a couple sleepers and fleece sleep sacks that were extras from her little guy. And Valerie gave us a bag full of things she has collected over the years, as well as a sweet red dress she found on clearance.

• Maternity items purchased: None.

• Places visited over the weekend: Six – Chicago to see our friends John and Becky; Franklin, Wis., to see our friends Brad and Amy and Baby M; Milwaukee to visit with my dad and brother and to take in a hockey game; Manitowoc, Wis., to visit with Christopher’s folks; Green Bay to watch our friend Jason graduate from massage school; and West Bend, Wis., to visit with my folks and our friends Valerie and Andy and their black lab, Dobby.

• Birthdays celebrated: One – mine – on Thursday. I turned 28.

• Birthday wishes received on Facebook: 54.

• Brewers wins watched or listened to: Three!

• Next prenatal appointment: Tuesday, 21 1/2 weeks.

20 weeks

Sorry for the belated writing and posting of this entry. We had another busy, but fun-filled weekend, this time back home in Wisconsin, and we pushed posting the blog to the back burner.

Written Tuesday, April 16, 2013

How Big are the Babies?

My sources say the babies are as long as bananas this week, measuring about 6 1/2 inches from head to bottom, and 10 inches from head to heel.

How I’m Changing

We’ve reached the halfway point!

Remember all my complaints last week about being uncomfortable, mostly while sleeping? Well those complaints are gone this week. I slept pretty pain-free most days.

Those gripes about heartburn and allergies, though? Still going strong. I think those are my main aggravations right now.

How I’m Feeling/What I’m Thinking

I thought instead of trying to recall how I was feeling and what I was thinking last week, I would post this cute baby survey that has made its way through the blog world.

About Me

Name? Kayla

Age? 28 (on Thursday)

Height? 5’4”

Hair color? Blonde

Eye color? Blue

About the Father

Name? Christopher

Age? 33

Height? 5’8”

Hair color? Brown

Eye color? Hazel/brown

About My Pregnancy

Is this your first pregnancy? Yes.

When did you find out you were pregnant? Officially, Dec. 25. Unofficially, Dec. 22.

Was it planned? Absolutely!

What was your first reaction? I had a hunch, so I took a pregnancy test a couple days early on Dec. 22. The line was so faint. We celebrated Christmas back home in Wisconsin, then I took another test when we got home Dec. 25. The line was definitely darker. Christopher and I smiled and laughed and hugged each other for a good long time. I think we both got a little teary-eyed, too.

Who was with you when you found out? Christopher.

Who was the first person you told? Christopher let the cat out of the bag to two good friends, and I slipped to my cousin and a good friend. We waited until we got our first sonogram to tell our parents. We had the ultrasound tech print three copies of the picture (which revealed twins) and mailed each one in a frame to our parents, then we waited for the phone calls.

How did your parents react? Everyone was surprised, first, and excited, second.

How far along are you? 20 1/2 weeks

What was your first symptom? Cramps and queasiness.

What is your due date? Aug. 30, 2013 – if we make it to then!

Do you know the sex of the baby babies? Yes! We are having two little girls!

Have you picked out names? I think so…but we have not yet totally committed to them. We are going to explore our options a bit over the next couple months.

How much weight have you gained? About 14 1/2 lbs.

Do you have stretch marks? None from pregnancy.

Have you felt the baby babies move? Yes, I think so, but I still have a hard time distinguishing movement from other internal goings-on.

Have you heard the heartbeats? Yes, a few times – once at our first appointment, when we found out we were having twins, and two more times at our next appointments. We heard them again at our 20-week ultrasound: 153 and 157 bpm.

About the Baby Babies

Will you keep the baby babies? Of course!

Home or hospital birth? Hospital.

Natural or medicated birth? I’d like to have a natural birth, but I know having twins presents its own set of challenges, so I’m not 100 percent committed to the idea; I want to see how I feel and what happens on D-Day (delivery day).

Who will be in the delivery room with you? Christopher.

Will you breastfeed? Absolutely. I’m already mentally preparing myself, so I go into it with the utmost confidence, in hopes it goes well.

Do you think you’ll need a C-section? I hope not, but again, I know having twins has challenges – and many, many twin births involve a C-section of at least one of the babies.

Will you cry when you hold the baby babies for the first time? Probably.

What’s the first thing you might say to him or her? I’m sure we’ll coo and say, “hello,” and tell them we love them.

Would you let someone videotape the birth? No, but I hope Christopher is able to sneak some photos, so we have them for our own, personal memories.

Are you excited or scared about the birth? I’m excited but scared. I really, really hope to deliver naturally, that is, with as little pain medication as possible, and without a C-section, but I also want to safely deliver healthy babies – and if that means drugs and surgery, then it means throwing my hopes out the window and going with the recommendations of my doctor.

I’m excited to meet our babies, to see what they look like and how they act. I’m excited to watch Christopher become a daddy and to let myself become a mommy. And I’m excited to make memories as a family of four.

But I’m scared something still could go wrong between now and then. I’m scared we’ll have fussy, inconsolable babies. And I’m scared we’ll struggle to become parents, who trust themselves and know what is best for their children.

• Weight gained (to date): 14.5 lbs.

• Workouts: Five – a 3.25-mile outdoor walk; 30 min. tennis + 1 hour raking lawn and pruning plants; a 3-mile outdoor walk; 10 min. prenatal yoga + 20 min. prenatal strength training; and a 1-mile outdoor walk

• Food aversions: Nothing really.

• Food cravings: Cheez-Its and cherry pie.

• Baby items purchased: None.

• Maternity items purchased: None.

• Heartbeats heard: Two!

• In-utero baby pictures and videos taken: Dozens!

• Girls’ names discussed: The same two we’ve discussed for a while.

• Nursery themes discussed: Two.

• Next prenatal appointment: Tuesday, 21 1/2 weeks, for a Level 2 ultrasound/anatomy scan.

Surprise!